Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Frustration/ ramblings

I have a bunch of much-more-fun blog posts swirling in my head, including our Memorial Day weekend, which was spent with my sister's family, my parents, and assorted family friends to celebrate my beautiful niece Alie's christening.  Unfortunately, I am home today, sick with a gross sinus infection and feeling too frustrated to do anything but list my grievances on here.  Feel free to skip this one if you are in the mood for something brighter.

I am getting back on the Master's Degree wagon during the summer session.  (I took off the past two semesters to be able to fully focus on the L'il Snickerdoodle.)  Unfortunately, when I was re-admitted, my university gave me a whole new identity:  passwords, ID numbers, e-mail addresses, the whole bit.  Unfortunately, they neglected to tell me or my department about this so I have spent the last 3 weeks trying to get my registration, payment for classes, and everything else sorted out-- long-distance (I'm doing my degree online).   I think the wagon is driving over me right now.  

The latest wrinkle is that I still haven't been able to log in to my classes because they have to assign me a new password, and classes started a week ago.  Last Friday I was told that I had to send them a picture of myself to get this passphrase.  So I sent it and left for the weekend.  Of course the university was closed yesterday, and I was feeling too rotten to care about this mess. So today I find that I had an e-mail from the helpdesk saying that I was supposed to e-mail a picture ID -- I guess that's the obvious thing to do but since Tech Guy didn't specify this I just e-mailed a snapshot of myself. I could feel my head about to explode as I read the e-mail. I sent off another e-mail this time with my driver's license scanned in -- we shall see if this works. (Added: they sent me a new passphrase which DOESN'T WORK. AAAARRRGH!)  

At this point class has been in session for a week and I still haven't been able to log in, much less get started-- I can't even think about how behind I already am. I'd love to think that this was a sign from God that I should quit this degree program and just stay at home full-time with AK. A lot of my frustration comes from wanting to do that, but unfortunately, it's just not going to happen now.

Also, this is one of the busiest times of the year as we wind down the school year. For me it means inventory and lots of reports to compile, as well as special events and continuing to work with teachers and students on a somewhat limited basis. Having to miss 3 days of work in a row is not helping my tendency to worry about getting everything done by the last workday. Mark is super-busy too, and we both are pretty wiped out when we get home these days. I'm trying to manage the stress of this plus my graduate class situation, but I'm struggling a bit. I wish it was June 12 --our last workday-- now!

I had to make a big decision the other day. I feel so much better now that it's been made, but am not sure how it will all play out. A bit more stress.

AK has hit a really cute stage (more on that later). She is also in a challenging stage-- since what she wants to do much of the time is challenge us. Her new favorite word is "no". And she loves to use it whenever she is not in the mood to do something or just wants to "feel the power." Of course, I find myself telling "no" myself an awful lot these days. She is into everything-- even the stuff I thought I had childproofed. I love her insatiable curiosity but the tidy, safety-conscious mama in me tends to cringe at some of her "discoveries", and habit of pulling things apart.  

Of all things, brushing her teeth is the biggest battle. She loves to do it herself, but when it's time for one of us to do the actual brushing, it's a fight. She clamps her lips together and shakes her head back and forth. She tried saying "no" but that gave me an entry point to try to get in her mouth. Usually the battle ends in wailing and much gnashing of teeth on both our parts! Her techniques for avoiding the toothbrush would be hilarious if it weren't soooooo frustrating. It's been so tough for me dealing with her that most nights Mark is now in charge of tooth brushing (go Mark!).

I read a quote recently that adults are basically toddlers with their self-centeredness, selfishness, and lack of understanding that it's not all about them-- just with better manners and some civility added. I thought that was a great description. (I've met plenty of adults who are harder to deal with than a toddler). Of course, this leaves out all the fun parts of toddlerhood: the cuddles, drooly kisses, the ability to turn everything into a game, that same curiosity as they discover the world around them, the new words and skills every week, hearing "Mama!" said with such excitement and joy, watching her romp with her daddy. Definitely puts things into perspective.


Allison said...

Awesome picture! I LOVE IT! Oh, the drama!

Kristi said...

Ah, the dreaded "NO" phase...
Just keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass! (I promise it will ~ sure, you'll still hear no from time to time, but nothing like right now!)

a Tonggu Momma said...

Oh, man... I hated that phase, but it did help me grow in patience. Praying you feel better soon.

The Gang's Momma said...

Li'l Empress hasn't mastered actually saying NO, but man that girl sure can communicate it otherwise. We've entered the hitting, screeching, stubborn refusal to bend to anyone else's will stage. Fun times. She's so passionate about everything. The good thing is that one never wonders where she stands or how she feels. The bad thing is that one never wonders . . . . :) You get me.

Hang in there. I know she's your first so it's relatively new to experience this all first hand. But it does grow you. It does pass. And you are NOT alone! Take good care of yourself in this busy season of her life, and be kind to yourself. Even tho LE is my fifth, I still am soooo ridiculously hard on myself and I have to remind myself daily of all this. I speak to me about it all the time :)

Hugs to you! :)

Wife of the Pres. said...

Um, we are dealing w/ the toothbrush rebellion too. EXACTLY what you describe. I think our S is going through some terrible threes instead of terrible twos. One of my guys hit it at 3 instead of 2. Good news is that they don't do both!!! Are you guys coming in July? Can't wait to see everyone!